• Chores and Children: Fallacy #2 Kids Must Help with Housework

    Parent says 1. I really need kids to pitch in (write in reason of choice: single parent, busy schedule, ailing parents, demanding job, kids waste time, they have to, it’s their turn…)

    Speak no Evil monk, from Creative CommonsWhat parents need isn't for kids to handle. Adults help kids with their needs, not the other way around.

  • Chores and Children: How Parents Fake 'Listening' as Actually Obedience

    Parent Question 1.       

    How can I make my child listen?

    Parent Coach Answer 1.         

    You mean 'obey.'

    No, no, no, no ... yes, you do. What are the other options? Coming soon in the series on Chores and Children.

  • One Way Parents can Effectively Vanquish Their Fears and Worries

    Fear is the absolute worst place to make decisions as a parent: it pushes kids away, creates rebellion, gives us our very own heart attacks, and doesn't keep our kids safe, anyhow. 'But the world is dangerous,' they say, and, 'people are dangerous, and kids think they're bulletproof...' as if that's a reason to make choices out of fear. It may feel like a compelling argument, but it's not a good reason. There is an antidote to this: THE PRESENT MOMENT, from The Way & the Power of Mothering

  • There Will Always Be Rebels

    Browsing through an old portable hard drive, I have discovered some old writing... including some of my terrible, hilarious, weird poetry. This one goes, I think, with the post about how the curmudgeons always claim these kids are the 'worst ever'... check that one out here. Apologies are probably in order, but here goes: There Will Always Be Rebels In the stillness of morning air 3 small branches dancing there The apple tree is old and staid But in its small twigs, breezes played. 'Settle down…

  • Parenting Is Not a Sacrifice

    It isn't sacrifice.

    It is hard work, and often thankless work (and, no, having people gush in awe about the noble sacrifice is not at all like feeling appreciated, or paid, for it). It is often work that will push a person over the far edge of what they thought they could do with limited energy and total exhaustion...

  • Pros & Cons of Attachment-Style Parenting

    A more realistic view of the real Pros and Cons of Attachment-Style Parenting:

    Cons: 1. Huge time suck: Think 'most of 20 years.' When I was asked why  spend so much time engaged this closely with my children, my simple answer was 'I like them, and I like spending time with them,' as true in their infancy as it was in their toddlerhood, teens and twenties. I wanted to care for them as much as I cared about them.

    Pros: 1. Independent, adventurous, self-confident...~ 3. Strong trust, a benefit to me

  • How do you celebrate covid christmas with kids?

    As described in the companion post, there are a lot of feels happening in the lead-in to the holidays this year. Check that post out for how to deal with those feelings, before getting tucked into what to do about this year... With the world struggling to flatten the curve of the second wave of the pandemic, just as it threatens to become a tsunami, a lot of people are wondering 'what is going to happen to Christmas?' What indeed? As I wrote earlier, about alternative festive Halloween options, …

  • Why Covid Family Christmas is Just So Overwhelming

    ...what we're going through now:

    What people struggle with, especially when they want something to be really special, 'for the season' or 'for the kids' or, probably most accurately, 'for making up for all the horrible experiences in this season in the past that still haunt' --what people really struggle with is that list of big emotions I started with:

    • disappointment
    • dread
    • frustration
    • the unknown (unknowable) future
    • worry
    • annoyance
    • powerlessness
  • Love Puppies-- not cute and scary obsession in teens and tweens

    Love Puppies --not cute and scary obsession in teens and tweens A version of this post was originally published on Suite101, in 2005. Originally titled Love Puppy, cute but terrifying behaviour among tweens and teens Many young teens and even 10-12-year-olds, have experienced what it's like to have someone obsessed in love, following them, waiting for them, and fawning over them. Like puppies, these enamored crushes are not an uncommon experience. They are uncomfortable and awkward and many peo…

  • Celebrate Halloween --the old fashioned way

    Concerns about physical distancing, spiking covid-19 case numbers, and kids encountering dozens (or hundreds) of other people's 'social bubbles' just to wear costumes and get candy have me thinking . . . again. Uh-oh.

    How would you like a covid-safe, inside-the-guidelines party for you and your kids, that is cheaper and more fun than trick-or-treating?