9.    Power

In mothering lies great power


It is easy for mother to think the child's life is hers to control


That the child is to be molded to her ideal, his flaws hers to correct


Right mothering recognizes this false belief


A wise mother knows only her own flaws are for her to correct


The child comes whole, to mold himself for his own life


The power in motherhood is in the strength of supporting and loving and of being present


Which is hard enough

  18.  No Negotiations, why negotiations are stressful to children ... 

 Why are negotiations stressful to children? Because no matter what kind of egalitarian belief any adult might hold on the subject, children instinctively know something adults have long forgotten:

children are not and cannot be equal to adults

 Not even the law declares them so. They aren't, period. Wishing cannot make it so.

Why can't children be equal to adults?

 Because they have a different set of needs from the adults than the adults have from the children.

 Children know they need the continued goodwill of their parents to survive. Parents are not vulnerable in this way to losing the approval and affection of their children.



The Manual Your Child Came With, a parenting book about your child

by Linda Clement

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Available now

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